Posted by: britgirl82 | August 15, 2010

June 2010 – The Rocky Horror Show and a family visit.

Back in France after a lovely weekend in Ireland, BritGirl re-started her job search…however, although feeling revived around friends and family, BritGril felt de-motivated and unenthused when she started her searches. She craved a job and company but BritGirl isn’t scared to admit that she found the constant job hunt, rejections, lack of communication and stimulation disheartening. Her hopes were slowly fading and the thoughts of returning to England later that year were starting to feel more and more like a possibility.

A difficult discussion to have with her boyfriend if the time came. Friends back home were supportive and listened to BritGirl whenever needed, some more than they really should. BritGirl owes an awful lot to her friends for their support, motivation and thoughfulness during these six months – they put up with more than any friend really should do…..copious amounts of red wine must be supplied in return!! 🙂

Friends in France also kept BritGirl and her boyfriend entertained in many ways…one evening included a buffet and DVD session of The Rocky Horror Show – not, BritGirl is pleased to say she that had ever seen this film/musical before. As BritGirl writes she hopes that she never has to see it again now that she thinks about it. What a strange and bizarre piece of work!! The french seemed to love it?! BritGirl is not sure whether that is a generalisation but it certainly felt like she was one of the few in the room that just “didn’t get it” – sure it was a one off, somewhat of its time and quirky – but it was also cheesy, without real story and altogether too much! But, it was an interesting evening, beaucoup de Francais and time with people!

And more time with people was just what BritGirl was about to get, her parents were coming to stay for a week!! They were hoping for a much more relaxed trip than their last visit to Bordeaux which had involved unpacking vans, boxes and bags alongside the all important erection of furniture. BritGirl hoped they would be pleased with the work on the apartment and enjoy time visiting the town and relaxing in the sunshine.

Well, nearly all of that was achieved, bar the relaxing in the sunshine. The week started of worse than weather in England…rain, rain, rain and more rain. In fact the day of their arrival was the day that the ill -fated bathroom ceiling started pouring water into the bathroom after the heavy downpours. “Great” thought BritGirl, “I need to meet my parents at the airport in this weather and now contact the letting agency in the hope they will solve the problem ‘vite.” BritGirl wasn’t really naive enough to believe that ANYTHING would be sorted out quickly, after all, there would be a mountain of paperwork to complete somewhere along the line!

And how right BritGirl was…..still now…4 months on, the ceiling is in the exact same situation it was on this rainy Wednesday in June. No progress of any real description. BritGirl is waiting for the letting agent to hear from the insurance company, who seem in no great hurry to do anything. Without the insurance company sending a loss adjuster, as we would know him in England, no progress can be made, so BritGirl baths with big leaky gaps in her plaster and flaking plaster. One day, just one day she would like the French paperwork to be worth its time. Take note, she has completed forms and sent emails just to get to this point…quel achievement?!

So leaky bathroom aside, BritGirl’s parents were in Bordeaux for the week. It was lovely just to see them and show them the apartment, when they last saw it, it still looked like an empty shell with some resemblance to a home, now BritGirl hoped it felt more like a home. Although she was fed up without a job or friends to call her own, the apartment did feel like home.

That week was set to be harder than BritGirl had imagined, having family around for a prolonged period of time, made her think about her life in France and her consequential loneliness and lack of a job. That week BritGirl felt more lost than she had ever done before. Brilliant day trips with her family were had – trips to the sea and the Bassin d’Arcachon with beautiful beaches, seaside coves, fishing boats and oyster beds. An afternoon at Cap Ferret made BritGirl realise how much of France she could explore from Bordeaux and just how beautiful it was…when the sun shone, it really was a golden opportunity. Days were spent in the vineyards – The Medoc and Saint Emilion regions were a stone’s throw from the city and driving through the countryside couldn’t help but make you think and recognise the size and importance of these fields to life here. But all this beauty did nothing to change the dull feeling of sadness and anger in BritGirl. She liked where she lived, but it wasnt enough – without a job or friends of her own she felt no purpose or comfort. Is it sad to think that without a job you can feel like nothing? Sometimes BritGirl lay in bed feeling like a failure- her big adventure hadn’t worked, for her boyfriend it had. He had a job, friends and felt like life was working for him here, but for BritGirl it was becoming tougher and tougher, the more she reflected on what she didn’t have, the more she felt like what she did have wasn’t enough. The week with her parents made this clear…she became more upset at the thought of returning to England with her tail between her legs, but she knew that if she didn’t get a job soon, she would go mad…become even more unhappy and probably ruin all the good things that she did have. So that week the decision to return to England in October if BritGirl still hadn’t found job was discussed in more detail and reality than ever before.

Friends listened and supported her, all reiterated that NO ONE would see BritGirl as a failure. This all helped and it was great that her friends were all there for her, but this feeling that she had and the loneliness could not be shared. It was something BritGirl would have to get on with herself and manage…somehow.

But back to the matter in hand, BritGirl’s parents seemed to have a good time, they enjoyed the city and its surrounding area, they felt comfortable in the French home and left having enjoyed a little sunshine!

BritGirl resumed her job hunt and hoped that the sunshine would return….her tan needed topping up and life felt easier when the sun shone.


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